bangbanggobbledygook

you know ah
i have nothing to do and i feel like just sleeping cos i have nothing to do. but it's only 8 and it's also too early for bed, even by my standards.

aiyo. nowadays there's like nothing to do except for, PW.
you know ah on sunday i watched tv from 9am to 9pm. really really. i just sat on the couch for twelve hours. and i don't even have cable! can you imagine if i have cable tv. i'll spend my whole life glued to the tube.

YOU KNOW AH actually i was intending to go catch a ten am movie by myself tmr, maybe moliere in love or L,C or sth (i have a list of i-want-to-watch movies) and then head down to the airport's starbucks to snuggle into one of their seats and read my Foreign Babes in Beijing. because tmr is a weekday and i have no school while other people have school and therefore i like because no crowd. but alas, PW calls. so i will stay home and await the arrival of my fellow groupmates.

i need to locate my pw entry proof alamak. Z!

and DILEMMA. to remove my braces or go for UBIN CAMP AH. both also important to me hOWWZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. dang.

shitzu. i can't decide. and i still have to locate my pw entry proof!


you know, i never really did put up pictures from china this june.but anyway look:








DAD SO FUNNEH. hahah he made us four sisters jump like ten thousand times cos he kept saying that we jump very slow! but in actual fact, all the photos that he took of us jumping were SUCCESSFUL (aka all in the air) ...!!! hahaha! aiya it was fun then!

and then my S$8 manicure WOO. heeheehee.
but im super chor lor, within one night chip alr


and hahhaha we took SO many shots! if only i already had by sony t70, it would have been a clear shot!

i think my family does crazy things together :)

dya know you make me feel like singggggging~


hahahahahah
:)

inside
outside



do you see me or do you not

even if i'm right and you're wrong,
i'll never convince
because you have the advantage of eloquence of speech







goong ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss <3
can you believe it, im starting to like the weird looking wenchenggong!

i am damnnnnnnnnnnnn tired
i think i walked around the school 200 times

but still enjoyable,
and i like.
and lorraine and i got 2 pretty bracelets each for less than ten bucks from the cambodia beautiful minds group! because all bracelets and necklaces HALF PRICE YO.only today! a reward for all my hard work from 8-4 :D

YAY.it feeeeeels good.

i just wanto go and sleep
and stop worrying about the money the class list the books the possibilty of losing them SCARY

gahhh
i need to, STOP ACTING ON IMPULSE, or something.
because i don't know what's wrong already, if it's not because i act on impulse.
because because because things are happening when it wasn't my intention to at all! really really really.
and now it is as if i am all talk and no action i talk talk talk come up with this seemingly fab idea which sounded great to me and then leave the work to other people.
GAH. sorry sorry sorry i also know it's not okay but i don't know what to say what to do already



GAH maybe we just don't get along?
GAH don't know
I'M SORRY

ohno despite attempts to resist watching, i think i'm getting hooked onto the latest korean drama on tv. (no prize for guessing correctly)
gahh i'm sucha sucker for these kindof sappy (fill in the blank).
...
and commercial breaks are such spoil-ers!
they ruin the overall enjoyment of the atmosphere and show with their abrupt halts obstructing the continuity of the plot!

why doesn't next weekend come faster!
AH. i just remembered j said sth about cgdinner AHH.

today i had really nice butter rice for lunch at serene centre with candice before youth.
before that i was at the library reading up for cse i.s.
and i realise i've really got to get things going. for cse, for a few other things which all add up to feel like alot of things to me currently.. even though it's after promos and i just want to slouch in the couch and watch tv and dvds 24/7

but because i will be putting in my best for X, i commit X to the God who's not created by any human hands or dependent on any mortal man, no matter the result, i will still be happy and glad when it's finally over (even if i may sulk for about, a quarter of an hour just for sulking's sake)

even though it may not be 100% and i don't know if it will ever be 100% or 110% or more, i believe that i will only believe in this God if i had to choose one. this God whom i accept as the God who is worthy of praise and my worship, the God who's my friend, the God whom I can talk to and who gives me such reassurance such peace.

I will lie down and sleep in peace for you alone make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 4:8

but now i'll have to figure out if this God will become my God. not just Him but mine.
maybe some day i will believe enough, when i commit to the commitment

i will go to church tmr.
so..easy..not..to..go..no..incentive..


yawn i wanto cycle blade play badminton in a court with net

life's sucha rollercoaster

of emotions

hurt twice in a day

je vouloir a pleure
je ne sais pas je ne sais pas

and it's horrid that all i can manage is broken french

eggciting turned disappointing
aiya nevermind, i did my best and i'm no martin luther king
i'm over it
there are just some things i cannot change so

try to do better, the real thing!

my mum was a surprisingly good listener today, normally she rebuts and tries to get me to see stuff in a different perspective which is theoretically good just that she doesn't really get what i'm trying to say or doesn't understand the whole picture so it ends up exasperating having a heart to heart talk with her because i've to keep defending my stand my feelings
and she baked today (!) the last time she baked was... when i was p6. long time long time
and yummy home cooked dinner today

so i'm feeling happier but like a balloon cos too much water

i feel like having peach yoghurt! i eat only peach and aloe vera. NO STRAWBERRY YOGHUT for me yikes

many free blocks tmr. book me!, please. 9-10, 11-2, takers?

i realised that my blue fbts is like my best friend
so old so worn out so comfy so smooth so nice to tickle so shiok to wear anyhow move anyhow sit also can
it has been with me for SO LONG! from sec2 training...to sec 4 trainings...to j1 trainings...to j1 p.e. lessons...to sec2-j1 random places... my blue fbts are the best la even though the hems are fraying quite horribly already

when the day to throw it away cos it's too old comes, i'll be sad :(

my blue fbts are practically equivalent to shi-tien.
sighhhh blue fbts<333

school TMR zzz.and break first period in the morning! aiya. sian
and i reallyreallyreALLY like the jackie chan cartoon
wooo jackie chan rocks

i saw this dress i liked the other day while out shopping with my ma
but she say DONT BUY so i never...cos i had to choose between X and Y so i chose Y and forgoed the dress... :( but i've been thinking of it these few days...AIYAAAAAAAAAAAAA so frustrating!

i hope that my husband next time will be like edmund chen.

i was thinking that,
i'm easily happy over the smallest things

and..just as easy to upset.


kudos to all who give me random little things to be happy about

z i miss my dad i think
z i sense that im having a cold war with two people
z j's sucha beeeeeach and makes everybody at home pizzed when will she stop
z grumpy.


anyway, just saw this show which was promoting chinese herbal soup with crocodile and deer male sexual organs. eh grossss leh. sold at chinese restaurant at vivo!


and today art exhibition in school. singapore's got talent. rj's got talent. 08A01C's got talentS!
our very own smint ian and josh the great artists. super pro! this one by some j2 for As

that day when baika and i wento BIY i bought a bottle of the jumbo red hearts. i feel like baking nowwwwwwwww after looking at all my FVBS. but it is not the right time because i have no butter and i'm sleepy and i'm clean and bathed and refuse to make myself dirty!

i should go and do pw. don't waste time. then tmr during the breaks i can stoneeeeee and rockkkkkkkk my time away.

okay note to self: buy butter!

(FVBS: frequently visited baking sites)

i had big plans for tomorrow.
but i have decided to go for rk lor.
promos end, maybe my big plans can wait. i guess.
but got op! aiya. we need to start. right. we will. wed.

k i am irritated because my mom always does 124575723413535783851 stuff for the younger sisters. but when i ask she will say i'm being childish whiney and trying to sa jiao. BLAH.
I AM SERIOUSLY IRRITATED OKAY. it's not funny at all.
i can't live up to be as responsible and sensible as my older sister i can't be as kiddy as the younger sisters. so i am stuck nowhere my fault issit
and then she comes along and asks if i can stay home from X time to X time on BLAH day the night before BLAH day. so how am i supposed to plan my day or change my plans and try to be home to help all at the same time?!
BLAH

i know la i know la it's always my fault always my fault
BLAH. being OLDer sucks!
wish i were the youngest smallest everythingest!

i am sitting in my room thinking, life is pretty unfair. some people just have got everything.
and it's worse if they take all that for granted and hurt other people's feelings.



but then i am already pretty lucky.

live and let live

WE WERE CHEATED WE WERE CHEATED

I FEEL SO ANGRY AND CHEATED

why are fellow singaporeans like that!!!!! WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THAT
betrayal of trust!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT IS SO HOTTTTTTTTTTTT

just got my T70..
and got cheated by the salesman
i am losing faith in singaporeans!!
(ever since i got back from china, i thought singapore is like the best)

cannot stand it.
WHY people like that.

next time my husband must be very shrewd then we will not get cheated trying to buy our television for the house.

off to send pops off ciao

i need to do low budget shopping soon

i'm feeling really tired todayyy

family dinner later at 9 cos the old man's china bound tmr alr

z

i really hate the weather

i think i need to rethink my life.

you know boys ah always complain that we are bossy and naggy
then they themselves are so indecisive
ask them to choose one stupid timeslot choose so long take so long to reply
then in the end say you anyhow assign me la

when im democratic you also so...
i might as well be totalitarian
-.-
boys! don't understand.

i am watching channel news asia and i think its so cool that the reunification of korea might be happening sometime soon! just like the reunification of Germany! and then maybe ten years down the road there will be people like us studying the role of leaders in the successful reunification of Korea! coooooool. i feel so ~~~ immersed in international history right now haha

anyway i discovered recently that i can call 911 on my phone without unlocking it! so cool, it must be like, for emergencies when im about to die and i have to call for help.

oh there are some people who are sometimes sarcastic and ambiguous and so ambivalent i dont know what you want what you're saying what you're talking about what you're implying why you saying stuff why what BLAH. i don't care already la because i don't know what to think anymore.

i don't like change
i like familiarity
eating wearing singing thinking doing the same old the same old same old things.

off to buy cake soon then school zzz headache!

i hate it when i act on impulse whenever im angry or upset and end up having to face the consequences of my actions and words and ruining my social relationships

OH NO i am now in h3! what do i dooooo. i doubt my results will see me through i don't think i can cope, honestly.

but anyhow today was :D probably the most fun i've had in ages. was supposed to meet candice at 8 to cycle at ecp but eh i was late cos i was cutting my nails..sorry! haha. i think candice is probably just about the only person who will agree to meeting me at 8 in the morning (!). maybe next time we can catch a ten am movie too candice haha. i like ten am movies. cos nobodyyyy!
oh yea anyway we cycled from 9 to ten plus. and past the national sailing centre. crazzzy next time better not cycle so far..the pain was intolerable and we were pedalling as hard and as fast as we could back to the rental shop.

back to parkway way and we lunched and we shopped. then we took 36 down to carrefour and did haha! grocery shopping with a trolley. hehe so fun so fun. i bought shitake mushroom crisps which are actually made in CHINA i realised OHNO. it tastes quite weird and mushroomy and it's a real mushroom too haha the shape is really difficult to bite. then we went down to sgoon gardens for yayyyyyyy haato hazelnut ice cream yum. and ive got my haato card now wee.

and i found out that parkway is so hip and happening now. there's topshop and dorothy perkins leh. next time i shall yue my sister there for shopping..more reason to avoid town! got so many nice things i saw but ehhhhhh no $. i am running out of things to wear :(

and @#%^&* school tmr and thurs and fri! aiyo. i thought my thurs and fri will be free for post-promos stoning at home. i only had todayyyy unlike others who's got the whole weekend and monday and tuesday so unfairrr.

aiya i don't knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
ack! i hate making decisions like this

anyway promos overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr YO.
i am super tired from the two papers today. by cse i was half asleep already. know i am going to do badly but ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh z nothing i can do about it except moan and groan and whine and whine somemore therefore i shall not do it.

i hate hate hate having two crazy writing papers in a day. SCHOOL! please don't give me that again pleasssseee. hand.pain.need.rest.

aiya today is like those days when i feel so lousy
i just go through everything zombie like
and its not like anybody can tell because i am just the same
nod nod smile smile grin grin talk talk laugh laugh nod nod agree agree agree somemore yes yes no no ya ya ha ha smile nod grin laugh agree yes no ya over and over
hello me.

okay dinner was fun because taBOOOO<3. haato ice cream yummy! i shall go the serangoon one sometime. 156 bus ride from ulu pandan so long my legs numb alr ha.
now need to sleepppppppppppppppp shagggggeddddddd