bangbanggobbledygook

you know i don't really like sms conversations. i also prefer not to use msn now. i used to be into msn alot in secondary school..i think sec 2 was the peak of my msn days. but then don't know when i started to be aware of how i couldn't talk to some people in person even if we could go on and on online. i started to think i was two-faced and scary!! but now i know better. msn just made it easier for myself to be myself. in person i'm not always so open so easy to talk to so eloquent. so then i started feeling that maybe i like to know people the real way better, where if you wanto get to know me you've to make the effort the real way in the real world and it works the other way too if i want to know somebody i've to make the effort stick my neck out and show a little bit more of myself. in person.

so i guess for me sms conversations give me the same feeling as msn. in person or at least over the phone you can make out the difference between pregnant pauses and contemplative silences. the person who listens and the ones who only hear. you can tell who you click with who you don't. you can hear me stutter fumble trip invent my own words ramble and trail off .. and i hope you still like me.

every other night or so, i turn on the laptop, flick the internet switch, check my email, go to favourites, go to karencheng, go to The End of The World, go to K-popped!, go to Dramabeans, go to iamkhool carroty and wowwow.

And then i shut down, happy that i've completed my routine.

Anyway this morning outside Greendale Primary, watching Fathers in white crisp shirts and ties walking their Sons in white crisp shirts and ties to school made me smile. Scenes like this make your heart explode with happy possibilities of the future. Daddy Snr and Baby Jr. (I quite like the names Gabriel and Jeremy.!)

hello! today was my first day at my accounts/admin position. after the previous two weeks, i felt so relaxed and happy at my desk swivelling in chair in the air con room staring straight ahead into nothing. it will get boring but for now, a boring job wins a tiring job hands down. today it also occurred to me that i'm abit like a jack of all trades. waded in many but never really gone swimming.


anyway i'm very grateful to my friend VALKOH because she got me acquainted with aunty E from my dept who then introduced me to aunty A who introduced me to uncle P who got me onto the staff bus that takes me all the way home to my bus stop and all the way to school from my bus stop in the mornings so i don't have to wake up so early and travel to school feeling like half the day has gone by. i felt so happy you know when i finally got on the punggol bus after all the various pass-the-priscilla where they were all so nice and friendly and willing to make calls and stuff so i can have a ride home. like, the human spirit! warmth! a helping hand! willingness to go out of their way! okay so cheesy, but that's what i really felt, so.. happy. aha never mind i think it is hard to relate to what i was feeling haha but i had a hard time stopping myself from grinning from ear to ear to myself when i got off the bus i felt like skipping all the way home hehe especially when i got home even earlier than val! :D

today has been good.

this morning i walked with my mom and amelia to school. the thing about having siblings up to more than a decade younger than you are is that you can't help realising that as they're growing up you're getting older. unlike being the only child or the youngest, you face the younger version of yourself everyday.you can't still be the baby of the family. when they're my age in the near future, my sister and i will be able to make job recommendations of some weight and by the time they come of age to enter the workforce, and at our thirties, we are most likely in the position to offer them one. even if they choose to search for their own avenues, they know they'll always have a ready back up. i already feel some envy though at the same time anticipating to see how they will turn out to be like and looking out for them when they're 17, 19, 21. this is quite exciting, like watching your kid grow up. haha this is so obasan man.

HELLOO. i feel so happy today manz. the page one stint has finally ended and my feet are crying happy tears. yesterday we ended at one thirty and i worked a total of fifteen hours!!after the night shift on sat, then full day plus closing on sunday i was really zzzzz and then when we were doing handover for lunch we thought we had a shortage of 30 bucks we counted like five times. theyall insisted on splitting even though i was really obviously the only cashier in the morning and i felt so bad because after the many lunches together i knew they weren't the money-come-money-go type of wallets i was very calm and composed on the outside no la it's okay i can pay by myself don't worry i won't breakdown because of thirty dollars but on the inside i was like UGHH (we found out at the end of the day that a stack of notes slid under the till unnoticed). so by the end of lunch my black face and my inner beast started to emerge and all my colleagues were so worried/scared they kept asking if i was okay and one of them got me chocolate milk they knew i was having my bloody period also they were so nice i decided to just okay do this! i am about as tired as i think i am! hence i am also as energetic as i can pretend i am! so by dinner i was okay already. after pack-up we realised that all our bags were locked in the locker room with no one around having the key there was a moment of ?!?!?!omggg-ness and entertaining camping at vivo but then we just.. yawn let's just cab home and come back tomorrow.

so it was really nice working with those people they were all entertaining in their own ways so it made the really crappy times alot more tolerable.

i think when i re-read this again maybe months/years from now i'll still remember. i'm so tired yawn i still feel like sleeping now even after waking up at ten and going back to sleep till two. i shall go retrieve my bag tmr sianz, but today feels damn good, extra good after the past two weeks, i'm so going to catch yubai later yes!

do you know that being around emo slash depressed slash negative people you will become emo slash depressed slash negative. do you know being around postive slash happy people you will become happy?

when you go out to work, you get the school question alot. and sometimes i don't like the reaction

one more week! and one more hour to leaving the house for today.anyway i've finally got myself an organiser! at 30% off no less which makes me heeheehee happy i save about ten dollars! there's no other thing that makes me feel more at peace and in control than writing things down making my Lists and being reminded of tasks that i forgot but really need to be remembered. :D

haha gosh i'm sucha square. but i like being one!

HELLO ALL YOU HARRY POTTER FANS. THE DEATHLY HALLOWS IS NOW GOING FOR A WHOPPING 9.90 ONLY NYAHAHAHA.

and new moon eclipse breaking dawn are all out of stock la alamak SO MANY PEOPLE ASK IN ONE DAY MANZ

hello yozzie. no blog in so long. my feet hurt everyday and a desk bound job now seems enticing. BUT the people i work with are nice, we get along, we laugh, we joke, we elbow, we nudge, we gossip, we eat. and cashiering is rather satisfying. so not too bad but still my feet hurt!! and i really just wanto spend the whole day home catching all my favourite tv programmes including the very-missed yubai. i've been checking out self-help books like Persuasion IQ, How to influence anybody and everybody and Astrology for Dummies to check out my star sign and my horoscope match like taurus in love which makes the others laugh at me for being such a doofus.

so aiya i'm getting abit bored so if you're in the area and like to buy books, drop by, la. got discount